


The Moment I Knew

by lecksie31



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Birthday, M/M, SeHo - Freeform, angst what angst, birthday angst, birthday boy Sehun, birthday fic, doctor Junmyeon, happy birthday Fera, idk angst, the moment i knew - taylor swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 16:50:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20312812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecksie31/pseuds/lecksie31
Summary: It’s Sehun’s birthday and he keeps looking at the door, waiting for someone special to come in, except, it’s almost 12 midnight and it doesn’t look like anyone’s coming anymore. Will this birthday turn out to be the worst one, after all? Or will things turn around for the better?





	The Moment I Knew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doctorthatwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorthatwrites/gifts).

> Happy birthday, Fera!
> 
> You probably won't like it one bit but it's the only gift I can give ^^
> 
> I hope you had the best day!
> 
> Love,  
Lecksie
> 
> P.S.  
It would be best if you listen to Taylor Swift's "The moment I knew" while reading it.

*****************************************

At midnight, Sehun received a text from the person he treasured the most.

_Hunnie!_

_I can’t believe we have been together for so long. It feels as if it was only yesterday that you were this little kid with snot hanging out of your nose as you chase me around. Watching you grow into the man that you are right now is definitely one of the best things that I will forever be grateful for. You don’t know how proud I am of the person you have become. _

_Yes, baby, I am so happy that you grew up by my side and that after years of waiting, everything worked out for us and now here we are, happy together, besides each other. I am so grateful for all the times you held my hand when I was feeling upset. I am thankful for the times that you hugged me when the world came crashing down on me. You are my light and for it, I will forever be happy._

_You deserve the world, Hunnie, and I will give you everything that I possibly can. Happy birthday, my love, I wish you all the best today._

_I may be away right now, but I’ll make it to your birthday party later. _

_I promise._

_With all my love,_

_Junmyeon _

He thinks he had read it about 412 times already, but he can’t help but smile like a fool as he read it one more time. He’s already so happy at the morning of his birthday and he is sure that it can only get better. And with that thought in mind, he eventually fell asleep.

********************************

**[You should've been there,**  
**Should've burst through the door,**  
** With that 'baby I'm right here' smile,**  
** And it would've felt like,**  
** A million little shining stars had just aligned,**  
** And I would've been so happy.]**

It was already 5:22 PM and the party would start at six o’clock but Junmyeon doesn’t seem like he’s showing up anytime soon. No signs of him at all throughout the day. What happened and where is he? Sehun is pretty much agitated about everything and he really doesn’t know what to think. He needs to go to the venue soon, will Junmyeon be there? Why is he not coming through his front door like he always did whenever he arrives?

_“Baby, I’m home”_

This is Sehun’s favorite phrase and his eyes light up whenever he hears this come out of his lover’s lips.

***********************************

He remembers the first time Junmyeon had to leave for work. He had been posted at a place that is pretty far away, one that would need a plane to get to. It feels like life is trying to tear them apart, that is how Sehun felt when Junmyeon told him.

_“Hunnie, remember when I told you, I’d get posted to a hospital soon?”_

_“Yeah? What about it?”_

_“I got my results today!”_

The grim sound of his voice should have hinted something but Sehun was too focused on playing PUBG that time that he didn’t really catch it.

After a few minutes of silence, Sehun stopped playing and turned around to see Junmyeon with tears falling down his face and he instantly panicked.

_“Jun, why are you crying?!”_

He went beside Junmyeon immediately, held him in his arms as he cried his heart out. He patted his back and told him that everything’s going to be alright. He did this until eventually, Junmyeon calmed down.

_“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting this.”_

_“Hush now, Jun, it’s going to be okay. Tell me where you are posted.”_

_“It’s in Jeollabuk-do.”_

_“Okay, where is that?”_

And Junmyeon laughed at the silliness of the love of his life, at the simple remark that meant the world to him.

_“It’s about a three-hour plane ride from Seoul, baby.”_

_“That’s okay then! You can still go home every now and then, right?”_

_“Of course, every moment I can!”_

_“Then you have got nothing to be worried about, Jun. I will be here, always, waiting for you because I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Hunnie.”_

And as they kissed, everything felt right and Junmyeon’s world calmed down.

*******************************

**[I've got my eye on the door,**  
**Just waiting for you to walk in,**  
** But the time is ticking,**  
** People ask me how I've been**  
** As I comb back through my memory,**  
** How you said you'd be here,**  
** You said you'd be here.]**

8:00 PM

The clock is ticking, and he can see each movement of it as there was a big one above the entrance to the hall. Sehun’s eyes are fixed on the door the whole time ever since he came in. Anyone can probably see that he was worried because even as they talk to him, it was as if he wasn’t really there. What an irony it was as it is his own birthday, but it seems he can’t even enjoy it.

Sehun’s mind is back to the message that he received that midnight.

_“I’ll make it to your birthday party later, I promise.”_

The words echoed inside of his head as he kept a gaze at the door. When he was called up the stage to say a few words all he can say is,

_“Hi everyone, thank you for coming, I hope you can enjoy the night.”_

He was supposed to give a long ass speech but all of that is forgotten as he was still thinking where Junmyeon is. Why isn’t he here yet? Did he forget? Did he fall asleep? Where is he? This is not the Junmyeon he knows, and he is very worried and sad at the same time.

**[And they're all standing around me singing**  
**"Happy birthday to you",**  
** But there was one thing missing,**  
** And that was the moment I knew.]**

10:00 PM

Everyone started singing “happy birthday” to him and he can barely hear anything at all besides the pounding in his ears and the echoes of the words that were given to him at the start of his day. He feels sorry for the people that are trying their best to be happy for him and wish him all the best when his heart just wasn’t into it. What is the point of celebrating his birthday if the most important person to you is not even there?

The party went about as did the program that was all for him. It was a grand birthday that Junmyeon had prepared for him. Even when he was far away from him, all he thought about was Sehun, so where is he now? Why isn’t he there yet? How is Sehun supposed to smile and show him how grateful he was if he wasn’t there anyway? What is the point to all this?

Junmyeon is someone who saves lives every single day, but Sehun just wants him to save his, right now.

**[And the hours pass by,**  
**Now I just wanna be alone,**  
** But your close friends always seem to know**  
** When there's something really wrong,**  
** So they follow me down the hall,**  
** And there in the bathroom,**  
** I try not to fall apart,**  
** And the sinking feeling starts,**  
** As I say hopelessly,**  
** "He said he'd be here."]**

11:00 PM

The caterers have arrived, and everyone is starting to get out of the hall. All that was left was Junmyeon’s closest friends, which is technically became Sehun’s clique as well. Because the rest was gone, Sehun felt like he can finally break down and so he ran down the hall into the bathroom. But everyone else followed him.

_“Sehun, I’m sure something just came up”,_ Chanyeol tried to reassure him.

_“There must have been an emergency but I’m sure he’ll come.”, _Kyungsoo seconded and patted him slightly on his shoulders.

But he couldn’t help it. As much as he tried to hold it back, as much as he wants not to break down in front of everyone, the thought that Junmyeon wasn’t here even though he promised tore him apart.

He starts sobbing silently as he falls down the bathroom floor and then he just started crying so much everyone else gathered around him trying to calm him down.

_“H-h-h-h-e s-s-s-aid h-h-h-he’d b-b-b-b-e h-ere. He said he’d be here. He said he’d be here.”, _he kept repeating it, voice trembling from crying, like a mantra that will bring Junmyeon to him right there and then.

**[What do you say**  
**When tears are streaming down your face**  
** In front of everyone you know?**  
** And what do you do when the one**  
** Who means the most to you**  
** Is the one who didn't show?]**

Sehun was the youngest of the gang, the maknae, the one whom everyone dotes on and that is why they couldn’t help but feel heartbroken as they see him crying on the bathroom floor. But what can they do when they have been trying to contact Junmyeon for the longest time? What are they supposed to do when the hospital already said that he left there with time enough to make it to Sehun’s birthday party? They couldn’t even bring themselves to say that to Sehun at the thought that he might completely break down.

On the other hand, Sehun does not know what he is supposed to do. With the tears that are streaming down his face, he does not know where to go and he surely does not know how things are going to be for him. How can he stop crying when the only person that can calm him down with a touch is not around? What does he do when the one person that means the world to him is suddenly the one to burn it down? How can he see past broken promises and make sense of everything that happened? Sehun’s heart is shattering so loudly, everyone can hear it the way he let out a guttural cry. 

**[You should've been here.  
And I would've been so happy.]**

12:04 AM

Was it too much to ask to fulfill a promise that was given out of free will in the first place? The things that hurt the most is not even the promise bring broken itself but the thought that the person forgot that he made the promise in the first place. What hurts, even more, is the fact that they were lovers and it feels like he has been abandoned on his special day.

And still, if Junmyeon would arrive, even if it is technically already past his birthday, he would still be so happy. He would easily forgive him, no matter what because loving means accepting that no one is perfect and there are times when your lover might make mistakes. And truth be told, he is more than willing to accept Junmyeon no matter what if he arrives. He just wants to see him, hold him, be in his arms, feel his warmth, feel his kiss, make him feel alive again. He would forget everything, he would let them all go, he would forgive him because _loving means forgiving_.

** [You called me later,**  
**And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it, "**  
** And I said, "I'm sorry too, "**  
** And that was the moment I knew.]**

9:00 AM

Sehun woke up, eyes hurting from all the crying he did from the night before and a few hours earlier. Truth be told, he does not even know what to do and when he looked at the other side of the bed, he found it the way it was before he ended up crying himself to sleep, empty and cold. No trace of Junmyeon at all, not even a speck of his shadow.

Sehun wonders if what he ever did wrong for him to suffer like this. What did he do to deserve all this? But as he was crying, he noticed his phone lit up and immediately answered the call.

_“Hello?”_

And as soon as he heard everything from the other line, he dropped his phone and cried once more. He hugged his knees and whispers sorry to no one in particular.

_“I’m sorry Junmyeon, I’m so sorry. Forgive me Junmyeon. Junmyeon…..”_

And even as he tries to tell himself about what he just heard off the phone, everything still feels unreal to him.

_This can’t be happening, right?_

***************5 years later***************

Sehun’s birthday is something that he has always looked forward to simply because it is the one day that he gets to have all the attention he wants from his favorite person: Junmyeon. However, on his 26th birthday, Junmyeon never came to his birthday celebration even though he promised to.

And it was also the same day that he received the most devastating news ever.

Even one year later, he still could not believe what had transpired that day.

Junmyeon never came, even the day after.

But not because he didn’t want to.

But because he couldn’t, even if he wanted to.

His last voice call, which his stupid phone didn’t even bother showing him was Junmyeon saying sorry with his last breath.

_“I’m sorry I didn’t make it, Hunnie. I love you, don’t forget. Happy birth----”_

********************************

Standing in front of Junmyeon’s grave, Sehun let himself weep once more for his dead lover. He let the tears flow as he stares at the picture of the man, he loved the most in this world, the only one in his heart, the only person he will ever love as he did.

_“Thank you for everything, Jun. I hope you are happy out there. Don’t feel guilty anymore, I’ve already forgiven you years ago. I love you too, Junmyeon, I love you too.”_

In the silence, the wind blows and somehow, Sehun feels a warm breeze past his cheeks, as if comforting him.

And as a ray of sun, strikes his hand, the glittery diamond on his ring finger shone.

It was Junmyeon’s gift.

He was planning to ask him for marriage.

And Oh Sehun, even after everything that happened, gave his answer.

He still thinks, it is the best birthday present he had ever received.

And that was the moment he knew, even after someone caused you so much pain when you love the person, the love will still remain.

Years after, his love stayed because Junmyeon was “the one” for him.

Why?

Well, just because.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader, 
> 
> Not yet proofread as I had to make it to my friends birthday so forgive me for any mistakes.  
This was inspired by Taylor Swift's song: The Moment I knew.  
I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Thank you for giving this a chance!


End file.
